When a girl gives her virginity to a man she is not married to, she most likely thinks that she will be that man’s idol; his only dream and priority.
But a man’s mental, sexual and emotional world don’t function that way.
A girl becomes his dream-girl only when she makes him wait for sex. He desires and dreams to make her his only when she protects him from sinning against God by protecting herself.
Some girls say to me, in owe, “Can you believe that he is a believer; and he serves in the church. How can a man like him do such a thing?”
That is a fallacy most women want to embrace, a fallacy that says “Christian Men have different sexual urges from non-Christian men.” Married women blame their husbands for desiring sex everyday, saying that if their husbands were really Christians, they wouldn’t have asked for sex that often.
Oh, may the LORD give those husbands grace to go through this.
Know this: After everything is said and done, a man who is created in the image of God desires sex in the same way whether he believes in God or not.
A man who leads a sexually pure life desires to live a one woman-man kind of life (Sarah and Abimelech); when he leads a sexually immoral lifestyle, he dives in it with his both feet (Delilah to Samson; or Potiphar’s wife to Joseph).
If you are a single girl, please listen to me. If a man takes a girl’s virginity, he only thinks himself, not her. His sexual world doesn’t work like yours. His sexual department doesn’t have sympathy when it is allowed to be wild, whether he is baptized in the Holy Spirit or not.
If he loves you, he cares for you to the point of saving you till marriage. He won’t touch you if he wants to make you his wife.
He proposed to you doesn’t mean that he’ll marry you!
“But he cried when I told him we can’t do sex before marriage.”
Really? Let him cry for the rest of his life. He is just a good actor. Most men can fake tears (well, women too, as a matter of fact). Don’t let his tears preach to you. Tell him to hit the road if sex is the one thing that guarantees his existence. You won’t lose a thing by saying “Good bye” to him except heartaches, pain and suffering.
If you already lost your virginity, leave him alone. He can’t pay you back by marrying you. Settle on this: Nothing can bring your virginity back. Move on with your life. If he comes back, most probably he comes back to continue from where he left off. So it is too risky to desire him back.
Pick up the pieces of your life and start all over again as if you were a virgin. Lead a sexually pure life and you shall test the power of God’s mercy and grace in your life. A man desires to have you, above all virgin girls in the city, because you first attracted God to your life by your sexually pure life.
Read the Book of Ruth. She was married to a man. Well, you don’t want me to tell you that she was not a virgin, do you? Well, I don’t think so. She was sleeping with her husband but her husband died.
But, Beloved, Ruth stole the heart of a famous, rich Bachelor who was a dream man of every virgin girl in a city.
Yes, there is what is called “Secondary virginity” which comes to you with a repentant lifestyle.
And one last note: Just because the man who dis-virgin you comes back to your life doesn’t mean that you are sexually pure. You will be sexually pure only when you lead a life that is sexually pure, with him or without him.And that is only found in Christ.
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